Goal

Or rather, how to figure out what the fuck you’re doing – Part 1: Huh?

I hate that question. It constantly looms over my head. Its a loaded gun aimed at my temple. With every empty click, a voiceless answer echoes into oblivion that is given neither form or sound. Empty. Aimless. Pointless. Ever so defeating. Still, I’m a TRex. I’m persistent. I’m big. I refuse to backdown. I may buckle in defeat, but I can never be buried. I refuse to be buried. I have survived eons. I will survive this.

Uh, but what the fuck is this? Even more so, what does it mean by “what the fuck am I doing” and how does it apply to this dino’s life?

For as glorious as this TRex is, this TRex still hunts for the most illusive prey that has ever graced his path. It is everywhere and yet, it is untamed and wild. Just when this beast of a dino has sunk its teeth into it, he finds it is nothing but shadows and dust. Anecdotes aside, this TRex hunts for…. success. Success and all its glory, all its treasures, all its offerings and accolades and yet… it is no where to be seen.

It sucks.

So what the fuck are you doing and how are you doing it?

Good question. No idea. I guess somewhere along the journey, I got tired of searching, of trying, of hunting, and ultimately, failing. I know success and failure are subjective and can easily be seen with rose-tinted lenses or jade colored glasses. Irregardless of the view, the reality is this: I want more and I’m tired of constantly trying to figure it out. So what now? What do I do? Where do I go?

I think the easiest thing for me to do is just set down what goals I want to accomplish, regardless of how vague they may be. From there, I can focus on specifics and chart progress over time, with an eventual goal of 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, and a year. Ya, its going for the longcon. But if progress is built upon consistency, then as a dinosaur that has survived eons, all I have is time to take, theropod step at time.

1. More money. I want to take my skillset, all of it, and turn it into something profitable. No, I’m not saying I want my dream job and to be filthy rich. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit how I wish I could live without worrying what’s left in my bank account.
2. I want to invest in something I enjoy. Not just put money in stocks or buy art. I want to throw myself into I’m something passionate about. Idk what this, let alone how I would cultivate it. But with time, effort, and a whole lot of luck and opportunity, I want it to grow and take a life of its own.
3. I want to master a trade, or rather, i want to master the trades I’ve bought into (looking at you tech. You definitely weren’t the golden goose I thought you’d be).
4. ?????
5. Profit